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Heal Talk Real Talk: Vulnerability with Transcript

NDT Founders talked about vulnerability last week on Friday during Heal Talk Real Talk. Vulnerability can seem weak but it is important to be vulnerable to your loved ones so they can understand you better. Are you vulnerable with your loved ones? Don't forget to watch the next Heal Talk Real Talk with NDT Founders on Friday at 11:30 am MST. Make sure to add the event page to keep updated for future schedule.

[Transcript: NDT's Heal Talk, Real Talk Facebook Live with Megan & Amanda

Friday, 7/10/2020

11:30AM MST

>>AMANDA: Hi, everyone! I'm Amanda.

>>MEGAN: And I'm Megan. Hi!

>>AMANDA: Welcome to Heal Talk, Real Talk, or HTRT. This is a time where Megan and I, the Co-Founders of National Deaf Therapy, connect, and chat, and have a conversation -- a real personal conversation -- on many different levels, as business owners and therapists.

Well, it's been a while since we were last live.

>>MEGAN: Yeah, it's been a month!

>>AMANDA: That's right.

>>MEGAN: And there have been so many things. Well, I wanted to recognize the healing conversations we've had, and what things have looked like in therapy sessions. In real life, we want to share those. And we thought, "Why not include our audience?!"

People have reached out to us before, and they want things to be more accessible. Hey, we agree. We used to do Instagram Live, but we've switched to Facebook. It used to be that we'd add in the transcript later instead of having it immediately. So, that's why we put things on hold.

>>AMANDA: Right. For about a month.

>>MEGAN: Now, we have voice interpreters and CART. Those are our 2 big additions. So that was why the brief hiatus. Then, the Black Lives Matter protests were happening. That just let us take a pause and really think about things and be intentional.

What's the topic today?

>>AMANDA: With that being said, we decided to start Heal Talk, Real Talk and talk about vulnerability. Vulnerability's a powerful word that's come up in many conversations. In terms of mental health, the term vulnerability shows up a lot. Vulnerability is further and deeper, and applies to mental health on a personal, professional, and systematic level. So, Megan and I decided to stretch the perspective on vulnerability.

This was our process: To discuss us, as individuals, as a company, as therapists, you know, where do we stand? What's our take on this? Where are we going to go with this? Megan and I have had a lot of conversations, between ourselves and others. There are so many perspectives out there about being vulnerable. We wanted to start there before we dive in to vulnerability. Our agenda: We'll talk about the personal journey, the conversation, and the audience watching us. There's nothing scripted here. We just simply choose a topic that feels relevant. We may have some background information on it. It's a topic we'd like to dive into.

>>MEGAN: Right.

>>AMANDA: So this is raw. It's why we both check-in and check-out. So, that's what Heal Talk, Real Talk looks like.

So, first, let's check-in! How have things been? Where would you like to start?

>>MEGAN: I'm thinking . . . [Laughs]

>>AMANDA: Oh, I want to add one more thing about vulnerability, as part of the check-in as well as the check-out. Vulnerability has a place in each space. When we check-in, we have to be real about what's going on with us and what's led you to where you are now. Then, when we check out, we'll talk about our truths.

>>MEGAN: Right. Things leading up to now . . . I really feel like there should be a conversation about Black Lives Matter and the protests. My identity is: I'm navigating through all of that. Black Lives Matter isn't new. It's been a long time coming. And it's a well-deserved time for it to have time and attention. They do matter. All this new information coming out, a lot of stories are being spotlighted, and stories are being shared. Leading up to this I thought, "Oh yeah, I know. I know it all." But, there's so much I don't know.

National Deaf Therapy, we're part of the system. I feel like anything we do, automatically, is usually white-centric, right?

>>AMANDA: Right. That's how we learn things and incorporate things into our heart.

>>MEGAN: So, I looked at all that. How am I as a person? How am I with my family? [Laughs] There's so much to talk about. I feel like the first step to being committed to this work is really being vulnerable. What do I know, understand, and need to learn? I think it's important to have that conversation about why being vulnerable is so hard, too.

What's your experience leading up to this?

>>AMANDA: I've had a similar experience. You know, I've had my moments where I had to digest information. Really, I've been digesting a lot. Digestion is an important part of the process, and I never gave it space in the past.

>>MEGAN: Right. And sat with it.

>>AMANDA: Right. I've never sat with it. It's almost like tea, right? [ Screen freezes momentarily ]

>>MEGAN: Oh, I think you froze.

>>AMANDA: I froze? Can you see me?

>>MEGAN: It's back now.

>>AMANDA: If you think about tea, if you steep it for a short time, it doesn't sink in. It's important to let things sink in and digest. And you'll start feeling vulnerable. I asked myself, "Why didn't I think of this before? Why didn't I sit with this before? We are part of the system." And those are the thoughts I've had. Now I'm at a place where I'm ready to talk about vulnerability. Megan, we've talked about this in the past. We both agree that we need to be better. A huge part of being better is welcoming vulnerability and developing trust. So, we'll probably delve into that a little in the conversation today.

>>MEGAN: I was thinking about digesting today -- sitting, and digesting, and processing. I was thinking of it as forming National Deaf Therapy. The 2 of us becomes the 5 of us. We're learning things, growing. We're a new company. We hadn't dedicated time to sit and have a conversation before. Now, we're doing that. There's so much value that comes out of the process of setting intentions and setting the tone of the week. It's like, "Wow, why didn't we do this before? Why isn't it part of our general business practice?" We schedule meetings and all kinds of things; why not just schedule some time to sit and digest as part of our business process? We should, right?

>>AMANDA: We should!

>>MEGAN: Sit and be vulnerable. Business and vulnerability don't necessarily go hand in hand, but it should be! People would rather be working and doing stuff, probably, than just sitting there, being vulnerable and uncomfortable. Sitting there helps you realize what habits you have. Things come up, and you learn what you've been avoiding. Sometimes we're avoiding by working so much. It's like, "What am I avoiding?? Ahhh!"

>>AMANDA: Also, sitting helps me see my reactions and where they're coming from. That's an important part of understanding the world, and others, and the conversations we're having. To understand myself, how I show up, and interact with others, I need to understand my own reactions. If I don't sit and think about them, but I just react, is that productive? Healing? Am I creating harm? When we think about our business or personal lens as a therapist, we need to know about our own reactions.

>>MEGAN: Why is vulnerability so hard?!

>>AMANDA: I have thought about that a lot. My thoughts always go to: At the end of the day, it always connects to trauma. How did I see and understand things? How did I delve into this world as a therapist? We all have a story, with our own belief system, history, and narratives. All of those things make us who we are -- all of those layers. Sometimes we're blocked to being vulnerable. Or, maybe, there are areas in our lives where we can be vulnerable, and other areas where we cannot be vulnerable. Why is it different? We're all working, and processing, and . . . you know, why is vulnerability so hard?

Backing up a little bit . . .

[Amanda's screen freezes momentarily]

>>MEGAN: Hold on, Amanda. Okay, you're back. You froze. But you're okay now.

>>AMANDA: Okay. Let's think about the system for a bit. The system is how we learn fear, what's right and wrong, and how we set expectations of "things should go this way, not that way." And, also, we learn what to be vulnerable about and what not to be vulnerable about. Who decides that? It's the system.

>>MEGAN: Right?! I really appreciate that.